The Multitudes Within

La Tasse, Georges Braque 1912

Monday August 12, 2024

When we think of self development it's worth remembering that there really is no single unified, inherent self, to be developed. Each person has constructed a small universe within. A constellation of voices -desires, fears and ambitions. Beneath the surface, self is an amalgam of a multitude of parts. Parts like:

The part that wants to belong, and the part that wants to be apart, alone.

The part that wants to change, and the part that wants to be resolutely unchanged.

The parts of parent, child, sibling, partner, friend, colleague.

The part that wants to lead and the part that wants to be led.

The part that criticises, and the part that comforts.

The parts we see as positive, and the negative parts, the light and the dark of ourselves.

Like life itself, it's in our nature to be complex, contradictory, messy. All our diverse relationships and experiences - and the meaning we have made of them - have shaped the many facets of ourself. And scientists are now discovering that there are genetic pathways for intergenerational experience to passed from one generation to another. Some of our parts aren't even our own!

Many seem to be polarities of each other - wanting and not wanting at the same time, leaving us stuck or confused.

Parts can be like a dysfunctional internal family. They fight, each vying for our attention, wanting to over-rule other parts. Wanting us to respond out of habit, rather than discernment of our current circumstances. How do we get our diverse parts into a more constructive relationship. Freeing ourself from this dysfunction is a great way to grow and develop as a human being.

How do we facilitate constructive conversations within our inner universe?

It requires cultivating self-awareness. Taking the time to reflect on our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors can help us identify the different voices within us. Journaling, meditation, and mindfulness practices can be effective tools in this process.

Once we are aware of these inner voices, the next step is to engage with them constructively. The harder we try to get rid of the bad parts, the stronger they become. Rather than trying to silence or ignore unhelpful parts, we can seek to understand and reconcile them. Bring all our parts into a constructive relationship with each other. Peeling away the mis-understandings to get to the inherent goodness at the centre of ourself.

Self-development is always a journey of inner exploration and dialogue. It's about moving beyond the myth of a single, unified 'self' and embracing the rich, diverse multitudes within us. By fostering constructive conversations across our inner universe, we can achieve a more holistic and nuanced understanding of ourselves. This, in turn, can lead to greater personal growth and fulfillment.